The Elder Flower Podcast
Are you curious to explore a holistic approach to recovery from addiction, disordered eating, codependency, burnout, anxiety, "the hustle" or whatever it is you are recovering from? Trading the shame and stigma of addiction for curiosity, enthusiasm and levity, host Jennifer Lebedoff wholeheartedly creates a beautiful life she doesn’t have to escape. This podcast shares a series of practices for you to try at home, including yoga, breathwork and meditation. We’ll share stories and discuss ideas for some traditional and new ways to approach recovery. You don't have to call yourself an alcoholic or addict to be here, nor do you have to renounce a thing. You choose what your recovery looks like. Dip your toe in, and see for yourself!
The Elder Flower Podcast
I Choose Not To Drink Today, A Meditation Without Music
This might be day one of your recovery, or you may be beginning again. Maybe you are just curious about your relationship with alcohol and want to experience some time without it. Ground with an intention not to drink today in this meditation where we explore proof that recovery is possible. Through the moving account of my friend Julie's four-year sobriety milestone, we glean inspiration and hope, understanding that her path can illuminate our own. Despite all we have been through, and any fear of the future, we invite a compassionate presence where we spend time breathing together.
Julie's story is a testament to the belonging that dedication to one's well-being can reveal, and we hope that by listening, you too will be inspired to spread the light of recovery, knowing that self-care and love are the most powerful contributors to the world's beauty. We'd be honoured if you shared this episode with someone who is exploring recovery from substance use.
This meditation is influenced by Yoga Sutra 1.1 which loosely translates to "Now Begins Yoga". Yoga is a self-reliant healing system, and in so many ways, your recovery practices can be a self-reliant healing system of your own design! I invite you to further explore the lessons in yoga that scaffold recovery. Follow this podcast for weekly tools you can try, deciding for yourself which of them support your most beautiful life. You can also listen to this meditation every time you'd like to commit to your wellbeing.
This meditation has Jennifer's Voice only. If you enjoy your meditations with music, that fills the empty spaces, please visit Episode 2.
Show Links
She Recovers® is an organization that hosts retreats and online gatherings for anyone identifying with women's communities and is in recovery (from anything). I take turns volunteer teaching online, free yoga classes there with a host of trained trauma-informed yoga teachers. You can find us at:
https://sherecovers.org/canada/.
I also mention my friend Julie, who volunteers as a facilitator of twice daily, free online gatherings as a trained She Recovers® Coach. If you need a Julie in your life too, you can find her at:
https://www.mysoberself.ca.
Julie's story is shared with her permission. Part of that story includes treatment. You can find a link to the treatment centre that supported her healing here:
https://www.edgewoodhealthnetwork.com/locations/edgewood/
If private treatment is not within your means, I am just building a website with some other, free resources. It is coming soon, and you will find it really soon at:
https://www.theelderflower.ca
I would like to acknowledge that I live and work on the traditional, ancestral and unceded territory of Sinixt Peoples. I make this acknowledgment to show my respect for the tmxʷulaʔxʷ (homeland), and Sinixt Nation. I feel privileged and grateful to be here, and I invite those reading this to explore their own relationship to place.
You've arrived here at the perfect time. Maybe this is the first day of a recovery journey, or perhaps this is the time you're choosing to recommit. Maybe you're just dipping a toe into a different relationship with alcohol, exploring what it might look like, not eager to label anything, just curious. This is a reflection and a meditation intended to encourage you. You might listen to these words as you prepare to meet the day, or let them wash over you as you take a little bit of time for yourself. And if, at any time, this meditation is not working for you, you can just stop it and try something else that does. I invite you to take a comfortable seat, or maybe you wish to lie down. If you're struggling to be still right now, you might press pause, put on some shoes and listen to this as you take a little walk outside. You might begin by softening your gaze, softening your edges, opening up to a new day. Maybe you ease your jaw and rest your brow, and, without changing anything about your reliable breath, I invite you to bring your attention to where it begins the start. Maybe it's a little tickle in your nostrils, or maybe you have an heart beginning just in front of your face. Bring your attention there. You might notice if your breath is warm or cool, long or short. And if you can't feel your breath in your body right now, you might bring your hands to your side ribs or to rest on your soft belly and actually see them moving, knowing that your breath is breathing you alive. Beginning is happening for you. Now. You are here, beginning a new day, one breath at a time. Creation is happening for you. You have the potential and the power to create a purposeful and connected life.
Jennifer Lebedoff:Today, this moment that you're committing to yourself in this practice of meditation, is auspicious. Auspicious means special, precious. You might thank yourself for taking this time, for showing up. Maybe you bring to mind the many versions of yourself who did not make it to this place. Think of them with compassion. Or maybe you think of the many people struggling in this life who don't find a way out of that suffering. I invite you to remember that the opposite is also true, that the path to recovery is available, that a beautiful life free of addiction is possible. You might bring to mind someone who you know who is living that courageous, authentic life now, someone whose life has been made better. Maybe you picture their face or you picture the qualities they possess, that you admire, their warmth, their try. You might picture a few aspects or characteristics of them you might emulate today. You might keep them here in your mind's eye or even consider calling or messaging them today and letting them know that they mean so much to you that they arrived in your morning meditation. You might call this a living practice on and off the mat. And maybe you don't know anybody. You don't have that example and if that's you, I'll share someone with you.
Jennifer Lebedoff:I just got off a video call with four other women. The purpose of this call was to celebrate our dear friend, Julie, on achieving four years of sobriety. Today, if you are anywhere within a stone's throw of us, you could have heard giggles of delight and unbridled joy. You would have seen tissues come out as we recalled having witnessed Julie's growth and evolution Brave and not without struggle, sobs punctuated with relieving laughs, without interruption. We each praised our friend. We loved our friend, reminding her of her influence on us, her strength, her beauty. We recognize the effort she makes in being an authentic beacon to others. As she volunteers in service to her, She Recovers® recovery community. You would have seen honest belonging and fulfillment.
Jennifer Lebedoff:Four years ago, Julie walked into Edgewood Treatment Center scared and determined, and today I'll lend you my friend as proof that a better life is possible. She certainly is my proof it is possible. If you picture Jules, her face will light up when she sees you. Her eyes are bright and alive. She has a toothy wide smile and she walks with bounce and purpose. Walking the Vancouver Sea Wall is one of her treasured recovery practices. You might picture her now. You might picture her and know that recovery is possible.
Jennifer Lebedoff:Beginning is possible and it's happening for you too. Others have been in this place, whether this place is just a little feeling inside an inner voice urging you to question your relationship with drinking, or maybe your story is that you've had a significant struggle and suffering the proverbial rock bottom. Others have been where you are. It's normal, and we're speaking up so that you can see that you are not alone. You are embarking on a worthy exploration and I invite you to take three intentional breaths here, everything again that you are breathing.
Jennifer Lebedoff:All of the moments in your life led you to this place now, and yoga reminds us to begin again and again and again, bringing our attention to our life force, our breath. There is no destination, no ladder to climb, there is nowhere to go. Maybe you have hard feelings of regret about things that happened in the past or you're disappointed with the choices you've made. Maybe you are worried about how you will do a future event sober or deal with a difficult emotion or circumstance without a familiar crutch. I invite you to bring yourself out of futureizing or rumination and arrive at this present moment. None of that is happening now. Each life moment leads you here to the present time, which is just right because this is what is happening now. You might place your right palm on your sternum and place the left palm to sit on top of it, right in the center of your chest. Maybe you allow your palms to be heavy, perhaps placing a little pressure there. Maybe your good heart rises to meet your palms just a little bit, holding your sweet self-compassionately.
Jennifer Lebedoff:I invite you to recognize that you showed up on this day for yourself. I invite you to whisper a few words of encouragement, gratitude, affirmation or recognition to yourself in this moment. Now I think back to my first day in recovery. My inner voice was critical. That's a gentle way to describe the futility and hurt I felt inside In that dark and lonely place, I'm not sure I could have summoned kind words for myself. If you share that experience with me, now know this is totally normal. And if this is you, I invite you to listen to some of the affirmations I speak to you now and repeat them to yourself inside, and if that feels uncomfortable, you can tap the brakes at any time and let the words just wash over you, trying them on if and when you're ready. If you're finding it easy to whisper words of encouragement inside, keep that going. Here we go.
Jennifer Lebedoff:Thank you for choosing not to drink today. Choosing to stop something that our culture applauds a sophisticated, social and celebrated takes courage. I am so brave I'm empowering myself to change and heal. I'll make choices today, remembering that. Thank you for showing up for me and for caring for me. I deserve this love and care.
Jennifer Lebedoff:This world can be hard and it can also be beautiful. This moment where I commit to caring for myself today is a momentous contribution to the beauty in the world. I am willing to see love in myself today and notice love in others. I invite you to take 3 more significant breaths here. I hope you meet the challenges and sticky emotions in your day with a little bit of compassion for yourself, knowing you're going to be trying new ways of coping with those, and I hope you share some of your infinite capacity for love with yourself on this day. Thank you for sharing this time with me, showing up bravely for yourself and for this world and making it a more tender and loving place. And if you found this practice helpful, I invite you to be someone else's Julie, someone else's light, and share this meditation by sending them a text. It might contain a word of encouragement and a link to listen to this meditation themselves. And happy 4th birthday, Julie. Shine on. I love you hard.
